Thursday, January 14, 2010

Diary of a Crazy Pregnant Woman, part one

As you all probably know by now, I am expecting a baby at the end of May.  We will mostly likely find out if the girls will outnumber the boys in this house on Monday.  (I think so.) 

Emma says since Tootie dog is a girl, it has already happened, but I digress.

I have decided to periodically (which means whenever I feel guilty that I haven't blogged about anything in a long time) write an installment of the Diary of a Crazy Pregnant Woman.  This doesn't necessarily mean I'm going to be graphic and discuss uteruses and other girl parts I'm not especially inclined to talk about or anything.

Guy readers (all 4 of you, I think), you are safe.

Sorta.  As safe as you ever were here, I guess.

Anyhow, this was the conversation between Luke and I at bedtime last night:  (He always waits until I tuck him in to haul out the heavy questions.)

Luke:  "Mommy, where does the baby come out of?"
Me:  "Uhhhhh."
Luke:  "Does it come out of your nose?  Your ears?  Your hair?  Your shoulders?  Your feet?  Your armpits?"
Me:  "Umm.  No, none of that."
Luke:  "So, where, then?"
Me:  "You know how you have boy parts that are different from girl parts?"
Luke:  "You mean, like my pee-pee and my bootie?"
Me:  "Yeah, umm, yeah.  Sorta.  Babies come out of their mommies' bellies out of their girl parts."
Luke:  (With a disgusted-incredulous look)  "Ewww!  Do they poop them out?"
Me:  "No!  I mean, not like that, no.  It's different."
Luke:  "Gross."

So, I have a feeling the next few months are going to bring LOTS of questions that I don't know how to answer.

15 delightful comments:

ella144 said...

Oh man, I just laughed so hard I startled the person walking by my office!

I got that same question when pregnant with Catherine. Clearly our genes do not do well under pressure.

Avery Tales said...

That's hilarious!! I'm not looking forward to those days!

Jill said...

Oh my, I think I'd be looking for a book on how to explain all that! Hilarious!

Gina said...

That's great!

Abby was 3 when I was pregnant with Grayson. Clearly, during that time she and I watched too many episodes of "A Baby Story" on TLC because she went to daycare and told all the teachers that her baby brother was going to come out of my hiney in the bathtub.

Yeah, not embarrassing at all.

Kellyn said...

I, too, am pregnant and due in early March. My 3 year old nephew asks me every time he sees me if 1) Luke is getting bigger, 2) if he can see him (to which I must raise my shirt to show him my belly), 3) and if Luke can see out of my belly button. My husband even brought my nephew a flashlight the other day to see if they could see in my belly button to look at Luke! He's so helpful!

Wade's World said...

How funny!!! Jackson asked me the other day where my wee-wee was. That's always fun trying to explain.

Just consider it fun blog material!

And Kellyn up above is my sister and the nephew she's talking about is Jackson!

Wendy said...

Okay, but really... Where does the baby come out?

jennifer said...

Bless your heart. Mommies deal with tough questions.

I didn't know that you are expecting (I don't think. I have a tough time with brain retention). How wonderful for your family!

Rachel said...

LOL! Poor Luke - he's traumatized now. I'm glad I had a c-section - makes it REALLY easy to explain to Ali...
I'm just worried every now and then that she's going to sneak in my room in the middle of the night and try to cut open my tummy to see if another baby will come out.

Christen said...

So funny! Can't wait to hear what other kind of questions he will ask! ;)

Busy Mom in NJ said...

Congrats on your pregnancy! I'm sure you are right about having to ask lots of "awkward" questions. Fun times ahead LOL

Marie said...

That is hilarious! Oh I'm going to have fun reading these!!! Can't wait for more!

Jill_in_AL said...

Bless your heart ~~ had no idea you were going for #3.

What do they say in basketball....changing from man-on-man to a zone defense ha ha!

I'm pretty crazy not pregnant so I feel your pain. Can't wait to read more and her if it's a she or he!

Apron Senorita said...

I like your Crazy Pregnamt Woman post. I know exactly how it can be. I needed a good laugh. Take care and enjoy these days!!

Yoli :)

Mary said...

Okay, that's one of the funniest things I've read online in a while.