Thursday, August 25, 2011

We are on a roll now!

(Two posts in one week, y'all!  It's feast or famine 'round the ol' blog lately.  I'm going to make a noble attempt to get back in the swing of things, but no promises.)

We ate cucumbers for dinner Monday night.  No, not just cucumbers.  I'm sure there was other stuff...not that I remember what it was now.  Anyhow, for some weird reason, cucumber seeds kept showing up all over the house on Tuesday.  I found two on the sofa, one on a door, and two on the floor.  I'm not sure how they got everywhere like that, but Anna Beth had a guilty look on her face when I asked.  I'm just sayin'.

Luke saw me picking one up.  I was mumbling something about how they were everywhere and how weird it was.  He stopped doing his homework and looked at me intently.

Luke:  "You know, Mommy?  If you left those on the floor, I bet we could grow some cucumbers in the house."
Me:  "What kind of housekeeper do you think I am?  HOW DIRTY DO YOU THINK THESE FLOORS ARE?"
Luke:   "Well, you *do* have "Good Housekeeping" magazine on your Nook.  Maybe you need to read that."
Me:  *Silence*

Umm.. Wow.  I've said it before and I'll say it again.  Luke is lucky that he's cute...

...because he sure is blunt--and honest.

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

If it looks like a post, smells like a post, and sounds like a post... probably kinda is one.  Sorta.  I wrote this on my phone's notepad back in April, so things have definitely changed since then, but I still giggled at it a little.  Maybe you will, too.

Anna Beth's to do list:
  • Wake up at 3:30 a.m..  Mommy misses me the most at that hour.  She likes for me to be in her bed, not mine.
  • Put my feet on Mommy's nose while she sleeps. She likes that.
  • Be grouchy when I get up.  Mommy, do you know you snore?
  • Throw most of my breakfast on the floor for Tootie. I kinda owe her for something.
  • After breakfast, mess with the blinds. Mommy will raise them so I can see outside. When she puts them up, she'll find the dead moth that I was going to take care of. What?!?  I was going to clean up. I'm a giver.
  • Find Mommy's last 4 issues of "Southern Living." She hasn't had time to read them, so I will eat them.
  • Have an exploding diaper incident that defies laws of physics and gravity. Consider that your science lesson for the day, Mommy.  
  • Mommy has to change my outfit because of the diaper thing, so it's a fashion show!  Work it, girl!!!
  • Laundry time.  While Mommy folds clothes, I take the folded clothes out of the basket and throw them after I slobber on them.
  • Nap, but only after I put up a prize-winning fight.
  • Lunchtime. Scream like a demon and hit the spoon every time Mommy tries to feed me vegetable turkey. If it looks like puke in a jar, it probably tastes like it, too. Eat Mommy's sandwich and Cheez-its instead. Winning!
  • Spit up on freshly-vacuumed carpet and Mommy's new shirt. Told ya I didn't like vegetable turkey.
  • Find half bath door ajar. Play in the big white fountain. Be amazed at how high-pitched Mommy can scream.
  • Eat fridge magnets. Open kitchen cabinets. Smash fingers repeatedly. Bump head numerous times.
  • Make note to self to get new hobbies.
  • Eat Tootie's food. Enjoy impromptu bath and mouth-washing in kitchen sink.
  • Pick up Emma and Luke from school.  Try to eat their homework.
  • Attack Tootie while she sleeps. Laugh maniacally.
  • Look innocent and confused when Daddy gets home and Mommy tells him that she's exhausted from our day. 
  • Eat/throw dinner.  Wear as much of it as possible.
  • Take a bath. Splash Daddy.  Eat washcloth.
  • Pretend to go to sleep by 11:00 p.m.  Get up screaming at 11:30. Ha, ha!!!  I fooled you, Mommy!  I'm not sleepy!  Let's do it all again tomorrow!

Monday, August 01, 2011

Deal or No Deal?

This summer we’ve watched a little bit of the game shows, “Let’s Make a Deal” and “Deal or No Deal.”  The premise is the same:  You can trade what you have for something bigger and better, or possibly not as good as what you have.  The problem with these shows is that the outcome is uncertain.  Greed, ambition, and foolhardiness often overtake good judgment.  The result is usually that everything they’ve won is taken away.  Not such a good deal, after all…

I am something of a deal maker when it comes to my family.  At mealtime:  “One piece of broccoli, two green beans, and three bites of meat, and you can be done, Luke.”  At playtime:  “Emma, if you will clean your bathroom, you can have computer time.”  I even *try* to make deals with God:  “Lord, if You will just let Anna Beth sleep through the night, I will get up early for some quiet time in the Word.”  At least my deals typically have a good outcome.  (By the way, trying to make that deal with God doesn’t work.  He expects me to be obedient and have quiet time with Him anyhow.  It’s funny what sleep deprivation will do to you.)

God is the ultimate deal maker.  When you accept Jesus as your Savior, curtain #1 has the Father, curtain #2 has the Son, and curtain #3 has the Holy Spirit.  You can’t make a wrong choice.  As long as you make a good decision to trust God, He will give you the most grand of gifts—eternal life.  It doesn’t get any better than that!