Luke's Salute to Soldiers

Luke and I were working as a team Saturday night.  I hauled all his clothes out of his closet and started sorting out what was too small. (Are you jealous yet?  What an action packed life I lead!)  On the questionable items, I had Luke try on the pants and/or shirts to see if they fit.  This is how it played out:

Me:  "Does it fit?"
Luke:  "Ummm.  No.  I don't think so."
Me:  "What's wrong?"
Luke:  "It's too tight in the soldiers."
Me:  (Failing to stifle a giggle)  "In the WHAT?"
Luke: " It's too tight ON MY SOLDIERS!"
Me:  (Guffawing)  "Where is THAT?"
Luke:  (Points to shoulders.)

Gives all new meaning to "Going Commando," doesn't it?

I added this to Wendy's "Life is Funny" Blog Carnival.  Check it out!

Diary of a Crazy Pregnant Woman, part two

I'll admit it.

I'm a bit of a quirky sleeper when I'm not pregnant. The room has to be silent, except for the white noise generator. The room must be comfortably cool, preferably with a ceiling fan, and absolutely dark.

All that still applies, but it's worse now that I'm gestating. Much worse.

I now require a body pillow. This is not entirely new, as I had to have one when I was pregnant with Emma many years ago. In fact, body pillow (bp, for short) is the reason Jason and I ended up buying a king-sized bed. He got tired of clinging to the edge of the queen-sized bed as he propped his pillow on the nightstand.

Or something like that.

Near the end of my pregnancy with Emma, I started waking up with little bits of fabric between my toes. Soon after, I would wake up with wads of fluffy bp stuffing in my toes. Granted, I totally have monkey toes, but I did cut my nails. For some odd reason, I just shredded my poor bp in my sleep.

Jason is lucky to be alive.

So far, my new bp is healthy and shows no signs of toe-shred, but it's still early. I've still got 16 (!) more weeks to go.
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On Monday night/Tuesday morning, I got up at 1:16 to go to the restroom (more on that later) and then collapsed back into bed. I curled up with bp and fell fast asleep. At 2:06 a.m., our security system alarm went off. I sprung out of that bed like I'd been shot out of a gun. Instead of turning the alarm off at the panel in the bedroom, I flew into the kitchen to the other panel. (And really? I didn't know what was going on. For all I knew, there was someone breaking into the house. Running through the house was probably NOT my best idea.)  I stood staring at the alarm panel.  Finally, I comprehended that it said that Emma's smoke detector was going off and that the glass in the library window was broken.  I shut off the system as Jason finally emerged from the bedroom to go investigate.

Turns out, the house wasn't on fire (YAY) and no one had broken any glass (Also YAY).  Emma's smoke detector was full of dust (HOW DID THAT HAPPEN?!?) and the ridiculously loud alarm from that set off the glass break alarm. 

I'm so glad we have dust alarms in this house now.  I'd hate to know that there was any undetected dust lying around.

Sheesh.

All that said, after I talked with the alarm representative and mentally apologized to our neighbors, I looked down to see that in my right arm, I was choking the life out of my poor body pillow.  I didn't even realize that I had bp with me.  I had probably carried that thing around for 10 minutes before I noticed that I even had it.

Fun times.

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I know this is probably God's way of getting me prepared for Anna Beth actually being here, but it's not my favorite thing right now.  I have to get up EVERY single night between 1:11 and 1:21 a.m. to go to the bathroom.  It never fails that I wake up and think, "Yes, I made it through the night!" only to be disappointed that it is in that magical 10-minute window that it ALWAYS  is.

So, I try to sneak steadily, stealthily, and quietly to the bathroom so that I don't wake the child in utero.  Whenever she does wake up, I am guaranteed at least 30 minutes of wiggles and hiccups on her part, that tend to keep me awake too.  Although, I suppose that if my bedroom got up and moved in the middle of the night, I probably would wake up with an ailment a lot more severe than just hiccups.

When it's not my bladder waking me up, it's the snoring.  *MY SNORING*

Me, the delicate flower who only snores when terribly, horribly sick with a deadly sinus infection.

Not anymore.

Now my snores are not the gentle, breathy wheezes of ailing sinuses.

Oh no.

They are more like the buzzing of an out-of-control chainsaw riding on a Harley with no muffler.  I wake myself up with this.  Ugh.  The snoring leads to dry throat, which leads to drinking water, which leads to more bathroom trips.  Awesome.

When it's not the bladder or the snoring that wakes me, it's the leg cramps.  I had leg cramps in my other pregnancies, but these are new and improved.  These are so bad that I wake up begging Jesus to come and get me.  These are so bad, that I know if I had a sharp object on my nightstand, I would self-amputate to escape the pain.  Also awesome.

Finally, if all the other fun nighttime adventures were not enough to keep me sleep-deprived, I have the crazy pregnant woman dreams to keep me occupied.  If we've met (or not, even, Ty Pennington), chances are you've played a role in one of my dreams.  I don't have happy dreams of romance and fun, oh no.  Mine are always someone is missing, someone is dead, or a-mystery-has-to-be-solved-nightmares.  Maybe I need to cut down on the "CSIs" before bedtime or something.

I think I need a nap.

Through a glass, darkly...

Last month, my family had the opportunity to take a peek at our newest family member, Anna Beth.  The amazing technology that exists today allowed us to see all her internal organs, her bones, and that she is a girl.  It really was a special time for our family to be able to see the unseen perfection that God is working inside my body to sculpt and form her into His image.

Even though we could see her tiny feet and the wonders of the workings of her four-chambered heart, we could not distinguish Anna Beth’s facial features.  We couldn’t see what color her hair will be.  We won’t know until later what color her eyes will be, but for right now, none of that really matters.  What we did see is that nothing was out of the ordinary.  We are going on faith that the ultrasound technician was right in the things she did observe.  She saw that all the organs were there and functioning.  She saw that all the bones were present and properly formed.  To put it simply in Biblical terms, “For now we see through a glass, darkly, but then [at birth]face to face.” (1 Corinthians 13:12) 

It can be a little confusing or unsatisfying to look at an ultrasound picture if you don’t know what you are looking for.  It helps to have someone point everything out to you so that you know what you are seeing.  The same can be said of the mysteries of God’s Word.  Not everything in the Bible is supposed to make sense to us right now.  There are some things we will not be able to comprehend in our finite human minds until God reveals the truth to us.

However, there are some things that God intends for us to take His Word by faith, believing Him now and seeing for ourselves later.  All of God’s promises concerning the Kingdom of Heaven and what it will be like for us in eternity may not make a lot of sense now, but we are to believe His Word and share that knowledge with others.  After all, the Gospel can be intimidating to a person who doesn’t know what they are looking at or listening to. 

I am so grateful and blessed to have always had people in my life that were willing to patiently explain and teach to me the meaning of God’s Word.  If you have been fortunate enough to have a person in your life that was dedicated to helping you understand what you believe, pass it on!  The world could use a lot more clarity in our faith and in our focus!

God Bless You!--Lianne

Look Out! Here comes Mr Smooth!

Last Tuesday, Luke came home with a sliver of paper in his hand.  He immediately handed it to me.  When I looked down at it, it said "Ashley" and had a phone number.  I asked Luke, "What's this?"  He said, "Oh, Ashley just wanted me to have her phone number.  She told me to call her."

Oh.

Have I mentioned lately that the boy is 6?

6.  Not 16.

I'm just sayin'.

So, he comes home Thursday with another piece of paper in hand.  This one reads "Rachel cell" and has a phone number.  (This being the same cute gap-toothed Rachel that Luke danced with in the first grade play.)  So, I asked him how he got this number.

He just smiled.

He laughed as he said, "Well, Mommy, I told her, "Rachel, I lost your phone number.'  She said, 'When did I ever give you my phone number?' So I said, 'Uh, at the beginning of the year.'  So she wrote it down and told me not to lose it this time."

Oh.My.WORD.

Paging Mr. Smooth.

So, if you know any single guys, I would totally recommend this as a pretty good pick-up line.

Oh, and to my knowledge, he hasn't called any of these girls yet.

I'm not holding my breath, though.

Introducing...

Anna Beth!

Anna Beth should be joining us in May of this year.  She looked perfect on the ultrasound, which was a huge relief considering that we got off to a rough start.  To go from expecting to miscarry to seeing a healthy baby tumbling around and waving on ultrasound is nothing short of a miracle.  God has blessed us so much!

It has been really nice to finally be able to call her by name, instead of it, the baby, or (my favorite) your probably sister. 

So, yeah, we will have not one, but two weddings to pay for.

At some point, I will have one child at the elementary school, one at the middle school, and one in high school.  Sometimes I wonder if we really thought that through.  

  

 

It's A ... COOKIE!!!

So, I'm still sitting in the doctor's office waiting to find out my baby's gender right now. I just wanted to share a story from Luke's bedtime last night.
I reminded him that today was the big day for the ultrasound. He said that he hoped that the baby would be a girl. When I asked him why he wanted a girl, he surprised me with what he said:

"Well, Mommy, if it's a girl, it will be special. That way, it will be like an Oreo cookie. With one girl older and one girl younger, I'll be the cream in the middle of the chocolate crackers. Everybody knows the cream is the best part. I will be extra-special if I'm the only boy."

Pretty deep, huh?

4:00 p.m. Update: We finished our OB appointment, glided through our dental appointment, and are currently stuck in the mayhem that is Chuck E. Cheese. Our ultrasound went very well. The baby was NOT shy and was eager to reveal that it is healthy and it is a...

GIRL!!!!

Let the buying of all things pink commence!

Emma has a slightly different take on the Oreo analogy. She said:
"If Luke is the cream, we are going to be the cookies that smush him."

That seems about right.

Diary of a Crazy Pregnant Woman, part one

As you all probably know by now, I am expecting a baby at the end of May.  We will mostly likely find out if the girls will outnumber the boys in this house on Monday.  (I think so.) 

Emma says since Tootie dog is a girl, it has already happened, but I digress.

I have decided to periodically (which means whenever I feel guilty that I haven't blogged about anything in a long time) write an installment of the Diary of a Crazy Pregnant Woman.  This doesn't necessarily mean I'm going to be graphic and discuss uteruses and other girl parts I'm not especially inclined to talk about or anything.

Guy readers (all 4 of you, I think), you are safe.

Sorta.  As safe as you ever were here, I guess.

Anyhow, this was the conversation between Luke and I at bedtime last night:  (He always waits until I tuck him in to haul out the heavy questions.)

Luke:  "Mommy, where does the baby come out of?"
Me:  "Uhhhhh."
Luke:  "Does it come out of your nose?  Your ears?  Your hair?  Your shoulders?  Your feet?  Your armpits?"
Me:  "Umm.  No, none of that."
Luke:  "So, where, then?"
Me:  "You know how you have boy parts that are different from girl parts?"
Luke:  "You mean, like my pee-pee and my bootie?"
Me:  "Yeah, umm, yeah.  Sorta.  Babies come out of their mommies' bellies out of their girl parts."
Luke:  (With a disgusted-incredulous look)  "Ewww!  Do they poop them out?"
Me:  "No!  I mean, not like that, no.  It's different."
Luke:  "Gross."

So, I have a feeling the next few months are going to bring LOTS of questions that I don't know how to answer.