Sad, But Joyful

October 23, 2009

My Grandma died today.

I am saddened by that fact. I am joyful that I know she knew and loved Jesus and that He was so important in her life. She lived 85 long, difficult, but blessed years.

I mourn because my Daddy has to bury the woman that sacrificed everything for him and his brothers. She always made sure that her boys were fed, even though times were hard and money was short. She did her best to raise them to be good men.

Both of my hard-working Grandmas labored side-by-side in a sewing plant. One day, they decided that their single son and daughter needed to go on a blind date. I'm glad they took the initiative to set their kids up. I have both my Grandmas to thank for the fact that I even exist.

I wish my kids had known the Grandma I had when I was their age. Long before the evils of dementia stole her mind from her, she would take the time to sit down with me and sew clothes for my Barbie dolls. She made them lacy undergarments and slips and even some suits for the Ken dolls. She didn't have to do that. She had a lot of demands on her time--from her health problems, to household chores, farm duties, and a husband who wasn't always kind to her. She made an 8-year-old girl feel so special that she would take the time out of her day to do nice things for me.

Grandma had health problems long before I was born. She had to have a brain tumor removed, which left her face drawn and slightly disfigured. She had slight paralysis of her mouth, an eye, and one side of her body. She was really self-conscious of how she looked. It never bothered me. In my mind, that's just what Grandmas were supposed to look like. I never realized how hard it was for her.

Grandma made the most unbelievable biscuits that I'd ever eaten. I've never had anything like them, and I wish so much that I'd gotten her recipe. I asked her once, years ago, but her mind was already so far gone that she couldn't remember how she made them.

I am thankful that she taught me about Jesus. I am glad that even though she knew a lot of pain in her life, she was still happy and considered herself blessed. She sang God's praises for as long as her mind and body would let her. I can only hope that I will do the same.
Emma and Grandma, 2001

We love you, Grandma Hayes. We'll see you again one day.