Tuesday, April 28, 2009

An open letter...

This is an open letter to the driver and passengers of the trailer-hauling truck and its escort truck:
(Not actual photo. This trailer is new and looks like a professional job, as opposed to the Bubba operation I observed.)

Y'all are precious, really. Especially you, sir, with the mullet and the cigarette, hanging out the passenger side. You know who you are.

Whereas, I was terribly flattered (if not a little terrified) by your wolf-whistles, waves, cat-calls, and stares whilst traveling at 70 miles an hour down the interstate in Tupelo, Mississippi yesterday, I would much appreciate it if you would focus on the road. It was an ego boost to know that you thought I was "hot," especially on a bad hair day such as it was, but when I worry for my life and that of my children due to your swerving with HALF A MOBILE HOME all over the interstate, you have to understand that my pseudo-appreciation turns to horror.

Excuse me if I don't smile at you adoringly when I have to do some creative James Bond-like manuevers to avoid the shingles flying off the roof of said trailer. Don't be dismayed that I blew past you without a single wave of gratitude for your ogling--I just like living more than I like being hooted at by you.

No hard feelings, mmmkay?

Sincerely,

Lianne (not my real name if you guys are reading this...)

4 delightful comments:

Walking on Sunshine... said...

This is too funny! He must have been the driver that I encountered on the NY State Thruway last summer driving a mobile home as well, going way too fast...I had to do 80 to pass him. And his load was swaying all over the place. Glad he enjoyed your bad hair day! More importantly, glad you and your family are safe!

Billy Coffey said...

I started laughing at this after the first line...

Yes, I'm glad you're safe now. And yes, that was very reckless of them. But seriously, deep down in the innermost recesses of my soul, I would like to have enough hair to grow a mullet, smoke some Marlboros, and not have a care in the world. Just for one day.

katdish said...

I bet you get alot of that around Tupelo, huh?

I know a married couple - one from Oklahoma and one from Arkansas. They always say they're going to move out of their house and buy a double wide so that if they ever get divorced, they can just split the house right down the middle. "Next time, on Redneck Divorce Court..."

Annikke said...

Yikes. I'd be scared too!

(funny letter though!)