Sunday, April 05, 2009

Hairs, errr, Heirs of God

We went to church tonight, where we were observing two of our most special Christian ordinances: Baptism and the Lord's Supper. The Lord's Supper is always a special and meaningful time for me, but has become more so in the last year as my 8-year-old, Emma, has began taking it after her baptism last year.

We had already passed the bread plate and eaten it. It was now time for the pseudo-thimbles of grape juice to come around. I always get really nervous when we pass that tray. I am so afraid that I'm going to drop it. I now have to worry about Emma dropping it or Luke grabbing it as it goes by, but we had a successful pass through our row. Whew!I'm sitting there, being all reverent. I glance over at Emma and share a smile with her. I bow my head and think to myself, "Lord Jesus, thank You for what you did for my sins. Thank You for spilling your precious blood for me..."

That's when I saw something weird. There was something in my juice... Upon closer inspection, I saw that there was a hair floating in my juice! Immediately I began to panic and try to figure out how to handle the situation. As I saw it, I had three options:
  1. I could flag down an usher as they came back up the aisle. "Excuse me, waiter? Yes. There's a hair in my juice. I'm pretty sure it's not Jesus' hair." Yeah, that was not gonna work.
  2. I could just hold the cup and not drink the juice, but what would people sitting around me think about that? Too weird. My mom was already making eyes at me because I had a crazed look on my face. I thought about asking her to trade, but...
  3. I could try to drink around the hair. Hmm...tiny cup...no way to miss it. Nope.
I pondered my choices for a moment. I thought, "Lord, I know there's a scripture in the Bible for just about every situation we face on this Earth. Can You help me out with this one? I don't think there's anything in there for this one."

That's when it came to me. Matthew 18:9 says "And if your eye causes you to sin, pluck it out and cast it from you." So I plucked!!! I am pretty sure God was laughing at me tonight as I was furiously fishing in my grape juice with my pinky fingernail. Success!

11 delightful comments:

Billy Coffey said...

God wasn't the only one laughing tonight, because I am, too! That is TOO funny.

And I'm always afraid of dropping the tray of grape juice. One hundred little cups filled to the brim, just shaking...

I'm nervous just thinking about it. Which, I guess, is why I always sit on the end of the pew during communion. Shorter pass.

Anonymous said...

YOU are hysterical! I've always felt that God had a great sense of humor - I mean, look at me!

~Mad
www.xanga.com/madewyn

Walking on Sunshine... said...

That was hysterical!!! I always have the same fear when they're passing that tray around! And one time after I had my cup I noticed that the cup was wet. Well, the cup was cracked and the grape juice was leaking. I quickly wrapped a tissue around it but it kept coming and Pastor kept taking his time explaining the reason of the grape juice. I never thought there was that much juice in those cups!!! Glad your daughter is participating now!!

Alabama Redhead said...

lol...are you SURE it wasn't a Jesus hair? Sorry, that cracked me up!! :)

Annikke said...

I don't know what I would have done.... I KNOW I would have gagged but then what?.... eeek!

texpat said...

Too funny!!!! At my church growing up we always went down to the rail, partook and then left the pseudo-thimbles (love that!) on the rail. During one service, the pastor was walking back and forth while he talked and ministered communion and we kept hearing this "plink, plink, crunch, crunch" echoing through the sound system. I guess he was in a fuller robe that day because he was somehow knocking the cups off the rail and then stepping on them. I am way to prone for getting tickled during serious moments so I was having a hard time holding it together. Can only imagine I would have lost it if there had been a hair in my cup!!

Vintagesquirrel said...

Lianne, That was funny! Thank you for being a regular visitor at my irregular blog. Yes, you are right...Murphy is adorable...with hair and without.
And you hit the nail on the head with the pain tolerance...must be all the meds I take for my chronic pain...I guess there is another side effect beside constipation.
Your blog friend, Michelle

Rachel said...

That is great! I must say, I have never thought about the awkwardness of something being wrong with the communion served. I am much too busy worrying about spilling everything (like you). I can't imagine being worried about spilling it AND having kids next to me to worry about too!!

Great story, and good thinking! Hopefully you managed to get that hair out without any spillage. . .

Vikki said...

OK-that is so funny! I can't wait to tell my mom about the hair tomorrow!!

Valerie said...

Lianne too funny! I always worry about dropping it too. I also worry that I will dribble on my blouse. lol

I've got a little something for you over at my blog - I promise there is no hair on it. lol

Mama Hen said...

Hi ! I came to visit your blog through Alabama Bloggers.

I too am always afraid of dropping the cups (has this really happened to someone?) and now I, too have to worry about the kids. :)