Easy and Fast Weight Loss Product! *Snicker*

You probably get them, too: Those coupons and advertisements that are stuck inside the newspaper you subscribe to. Sometimes they are for cat litter or plastic wrap, other times they are for diapers or pretzel m&m's (Thank You, Sweet Jesus!). The rest of the time they manage to sneak in some weird items that I seriously wonder who buys them in the first place--like the Princess Diana doll in her wedding dress or the limited edition commemorative Wizard of Oz plates, or some such nonsense.

Oh, but wait!  I have found the ultimate coupon ad product.  Behold:

Yes, you, too, can shed unwanted pounds by wearing a muumuu.

Let's analyze some of the claims on this ad:
1.  It's called "figure-flattering," "slimming," "luxurious," and "elegant."

Yep, 'cause nothing says svelte more than looking like Mrs. Roper:

2.  "Look slimmer in an instant" and "The pounds seem to disappear as soon as you put [it] on."
Uh huh.  A tarp pretty much accomplishes the same thing if you throw it over something, the something disappears.  I'm just sayin'.
3.  That "model" has man feet.  EWW.
4."Perfect...for entertaining at home--even pretty enough for candlelight dinners!"  Now, I don't eat my dinners by candlelight very often, but I'm pretty certain that the muumuu is fairly unlikely to inspire romance.  I would be afraid those giant sleeves would catch on fire!
5.  "Perfect for all day wear." Yes, especially if you weren't planning on taking off your pajamas that day, anyhow.


Perhaps a more effective way to market this would be to say, "Muumuus:  'Cause you aren't even trying anymore, are ya?"