Tuesday, August 04, 2009

The Birthday That Was...

August 5, 2009

As you may remember, August 3 was my birthday. If you forgot, just go ahead and mark your calendar for next year. I can wait.

[Humming.]

[Twiddling thumbs]

[Realizing I don't know how to "twiddle" my thumbs.]

[Looking up "thumb twiddling" on YouTube.]

Oh, you're back! So, as I was saying, Monday was my big day. Not big in that it was a milestone birthday or anything, just big in that it was a fun day, chock full of celebrations. And dessert.

After a champion's breakfast of leftover birthday cake, I headed to Birmingham with the kids. We met up for lunch with Rachel, her daughter Ali, Rachel, and her son Joe. (Raise your hand if you are confused...I thought so.)

Here we are in all our hot-ness. "Hot" meaning it was 90-ish degrees.
(Me, Rachel, and Rachel)

After lunch we played at the playground until our faces melted off. Did I mention it was hot?

Luke enjoyed playing with Joe:
Rachel and Joe couldn't resist a ride on Barney's evil twin brother:
After we said our goodbyes, the kids and I headed to Vestavia Bowl for some air-conditioned fun. I knew this wasn't your typical bowling alley when I heard this announcement over the loudspeaker: "Attention bowlers: For the owner of the black Mercedes Benz E350--You have left your door open." I watched as a well-coiffed lady raced out of the building in three-inch Italian heels. She came back in shortly after and dragged two protesting children straight out the door behind her. Buzzkill.

As expected, I am a pretty miserable bowler. I am a pro on Wii, but real-life bowling is a little different. Emma took a picture of my reaction to my pathetic-ness:Luke really enjoyed himself, even if he lost both games. Check out his form:LOOK OUT!!!!Emma had reason to gloat. She beat me on the first game and I only beat her by one point on the second:Somewhere in the middle of the second game, I decided to sit down for a minute. You can only stand up for so long in those oh-so-comfortable-and-attractive rented bowling shoes, you know. The tables had these weird swing-out bucket seats at the table that were attached with metal arms. The one I sat in would retract back in really fast, so you had to be quick to sit down. When I sat down as quickly as I could in it, I heard a weird sound from the back of my pants. (Don't go there.) I reached back (as subtly as I could in a crowded bowling alley) and felt that my pocket had come unsnapped. So, I snapped it back.

Here's what I didn't know and nobody had the decency to tell me:
(Consider this a warning. You cannot un-see what you are about to see.)Oh yes. It's a half-dollar sized hole that you can see my lilly-white underwear through. I didn't find out until I uploaded these pictures yesterday. The disco ball wasn't the only thing shining that day, folks! Upon further investigation of the jeans last night, I determined that the hole is actually a lot bigger and goes up under the pocket flap, too. Of all days not to be wearing blue underwear!

Next, we went over to the Galleria. On the way there, we saw two Smart Cars. My kids are convinced that they are actually golf carts driving around on the highway. This is the second one that we saw:The tag on it reads "Lil Guy." Luke was highly amused by this. He informed me that when he gets a car, his tag will read "Big Guy." It's never too early for the testosterone to kick in.

Right before we turned in at the Galleria, we were side-by-side with "Lil Guy" at a red light. Emma looked over and declared a foul. "Mommy, LOOK at that guy. He's not little. He's a great big guy!" And you know what? He was. I laughed myself silly when she started singing "Big-Guy-in-a-little-car," a'-la Chris Farley in "Tommy Boy," which she hasn't seen, but has heard me quote.

Since I'm pretty much done with back-to-school shopping for the kids, I didn't subject them to going into any stores that I like. Instead, we went to the Lego store, Bama Fever, Build-a-bear workshop, the Disney store, through the Wynfrey, and to the carousel. Emma was really excited to see the Frog-Duck-Butt that she'd seen a picture of on Rachel's blog.After I had undoubtedly amused all the shoppers at the Galleria with my unintentional peep show, we had a wonderful dinner at Carraba's. Later, I gave the Geek Squad an eyeful when we mooned over plasma tvs at Best Buy.

Even though I exposed my 30-something-underwear-clad-backside, it was still a super-fun day. Who knows what kind of crazy wardrobe malfunction the next birthday will bring?!?

I added this post to Wendy's Life is Funny Blog Carnival. Check it out!


20 delightful comments:

Wendy said...

Well I hope that you were wearing clean underwear so your mother wouldn't be ashamed of you.

And yeah, I totally went there with the butt noise.

Gina said...

All I have to say is, you are my kind of people... teaching your kids the greatness that is Chris Farley.

Jill said...

Too funny - unfortunately that sounds like something that would happen to me. Glad you had a great time - sounds like the kids did too!

Rachel said...

I think those jeans holes are fashionable. Right?

Glad I could contribute to your wonderful Birthday! I doubt we'll be getting together for mine, seeing as how it's on Valentine's Day.

Armchair Housewife said...

Hmm.. well, call me a cynic, but with friends that won't tell you your undies are sticking out, who needs enemies?

Haha.. just kidding. Looks like you had a blast and that's wonderful.

Billy Coffey said...

Happy birthday, Lianne! Late, I know. But I'll make up for it next year.

jennifer said...

Happy Belated Birthday!

I enjoyed reading this post so much. You had me grinning from Barney's evil twin to the very end.

And aren't you glad you had on your sensible cotton drawers instead of a lime green thong?

Walking on Sunshine... said...

Well at least you weren't wearing your thong! Glad you had fun!

Holly Brennan said...

Oh my goodness. I laughed out loud....way to celebrate in "style."

Rachel said...

Wow - even though I already knew the story, I still laughed out loud. Twice. What's a birthday without showing your drawers, anyway?

And I'm so glad that Emma not only got to enjoy seeing YOUR butt, but the Frog Duck Butt as well.

Kelli said...

Just be glad that you were wearing lily-white underwear, rather than flowered...or lace...a thong...

Happy Belated Birthday!

Busy Mom in NJ said...

Happy Belated Birthday! You had me cracking up with this post.

Christen said...

Sounds like a fun filled day, I bet everyone was exhausted when y'all got home! By the way, Carrabba's is my FAVORITE restaurant ever, they're Mezzaluna is the best!

Valerie said...

Ha! Now you have something in common with Vulcan!! LOL

Wade's World said...

Happy Belated Birthday!

I have a hole like that in a pair of my shorts, but I can't convince myself to get rid of them. They are the perfect shorts, minus the hole!

And I have got to stop by the Galleria to go see Frog Duck Butt. That would be worth an hour drive!

P.S. thanks for the comments on my Obama letter. I think a lot of us have had enough!

amykiane said...

So glad you had a great birthday. And that "Big Guy" comment just cracked me up!

Latte With Me said...

YOU WON THE BOOK! If you'll zip me an email to lattejust4me @gmail.com, I'll get it on to you!

Mrs. Jennifer said...

Don't feel too bad ..I once walked around the entire mall with my shirt on wrong side out. ANd No. It wasn't for any interesting reason. I was (am) just an idiot.

Marie said...

Hello Lianne - wishing you a belated Happy Birthday! By the sounds of your post, it was a great celebration. You made me giggle with your bowling story. Good girl, your Mama taught you well to wear clean undies. And thank goodness they weren't the "other" kind. I have a story I can share with you in a separate email, let me know if you would like to hear the sad but true details. LOL.

Thank you for sharing your fun photos and hilarious adventures!

Blessings,
Marie
http://emmacallsmemama.com

Marie said...

I'm afraid to laugh. Bad things happen to people who laugh at others' wardrobe malfunctions. :D