How To Have A Chuck E. Cheese Nightmare Without Going Inside! (and subtitle: What's in a name? Ahem.)

Last Saturday, I attempted to take my kids to Chuck E. Cheese. I know, I know. What was I thinking? Jason was at a Men's conference in Memphis, TN, so I needed something fun to do with the kiddos.

When we got to CEC, I didn't even stop. I saw a line of people standing 20+ deep in the parking lot and said, "Oooh, guys, let's go do something else for a little while and maybe that line will clear out." The kids were amazingly agreeable, so I got to do some fun shopping at Hobby Lobby. (I loooove Hobby Lobby.) We spent about 45 minutes in there, came out, and the line was just as long--and it was 37 degrees and RAINING! I told the kids it wasn't worth it! They agreed to go eat lunch at Ruby Tuesday in the mall, buy a birthday gift for a friend, and THEN go to CEC.

We got to the mall, which we had not been to since before Christmas. We went to where Ruby Tuesday was supposed to be...and it was GONE! I thought "Great job there, Mom of the Year. You've let the kids down at least 3 times now." Luke suggested Chick-fil-a, and Emma joyfully agreed. (Who ARE these kids?) We ate lunch, bought the gift, and browsed a little while.

Three hours from our original attempt to go to CEC had passed. I told the kids that we would try to go as we were leaving the mall. Jason had already called and told us that it had started snowing in Memphis and was heading our way. He had seen 14 weather-related accidents, as well. This added to my feeling of dread as I pulled into the parking lot at CEC. I noted the line was only about 10 deep as I made the turn into the lot. That's when I saw her. The mom pushing her handicapped son in a wheelchair TWO BLOCKS in the 36 degree rain to CEC. That was the nearest open parking!

With fear in my voice, resignation in my heart, and dread in my body for the resulting tears and anger that I expected from the kids, I said, "Guys, I'm sorry. We are not going to be able to go to Chuck E. Cheese today. How about we go to Booksamillion and I buy you a new book or Webkinz and a cookie?" I braced for impact.

Both kids smiled.

"That sounds great, Mommy!" replied Emma. "Okay," said Luke, "I was hoping you'd say that." (WHO ARE YOU PEOPLE?)

Emma selected a blue whale webkinz and Luke selected this eagle webkinz:

As we drove home, the contented kiddos munched on triple chocolate brownies (swoon) and discussed names for their new pets. Emma named her whale Victooooria and Luke continued to ponder. Suddenly, it came to him.

"I know what I want to name my eagle."

"I want to name him..."



(Note to parents: Send the kids away if they are reading over your shoulder...)




"PECKER."


Now, to clarify, Luke has never heard that term used to describe male anatomy, or another person, for that matter. In fact, until he said it, I had not heard that term for a really, really, really long time. I had to carefully explain that I didn't think that was a good name. Neither kids actually understood why I was opposed, but all I could think about was what would happen when he got logged onto the Webkinz website with that thing. I imagined he would get reported as being some kind of perv or something. Bless his heart.

He changed the name to Brownie.

Whew!