Thursday, March 11, 2010

If you blog it, they will read it.

This is the same look my "Blogger" button gives me every time I get on the computer lately.  It's not that I don't love blogging and/or have nothing to write about.  It's more like every time I sit down, I start to fall asleep due to my sweet, energy-sucking, precious, unborn child.

I've started using the "notes" feature on my iPhone so that I could remember details of some of the crazy stuff that's been going on in my life lately.  Goodness knows that Swiss cheese-brain-pregnant woman is NOT going to remember any details.

For example, back in early February, Jason and I attended a country music concert put on by Miranda Lambert and Brad Paisley.  I am not the country music fan in the family, so it was a bit of a unique experience for me.  But we are over a month past the concert, so I feel like it would be wrong to blog about it now!  So, instead, I will give you these "gems" that I felt it was necessary for my readers to know.  (If they don't make sense to you, that's okay.  I probably don't remember what was meant by them, either.)
  • Drunk chicks know every word to all songs ever written.
  • Gangster rap played in the parking lot before a country music show is weird.
  • "Yee-ha" is the only acceptable battle cry at this concert.
  • "This girl next to me just hollered like a scalded dog."--Jason  (This is my favorite quote, EVER!)
  • (After seeing drunk girl eating mayonnaise on French fries)  "Bet she's gonna see that again later."--Jason
  • Largest assembly of dancing mullet women on earth.
  • Got kicked in the shoulder by drunk girl standing on the back of my seat when she fell on the guy next to me
  • Miranda Lambert is a bitter and angry woman.
See? I told you that you needed to know these things.

Another note on my phone is about what happened to Luke and I a couple of weeks ago when he had strep.  After we left the doctor's office, he wanted to eat at a steak restaurant that allows you to throw peanut shells on the floor.  (We only eat at THE classiest establishments.)  These were the "pertinent" details about the family that sat behind us:

  • Please make your kid stop screaming in my ear.
  • I never thought I'd be one of "those" people that complain about other people's kids in a restaurant.
  • "Bite?  Bite?  Bite?"  (Hard poke in my back)--what the kid kept saying when our food came out.
  • I cannot believe they are letting a two year old drink straight out of a Heinz 57 bottle.
  • A Heinz 57 bottle was never meant to be used as a hammer.
  • Who's surprised that the kid just smashed his fingers?  Not me.
  • Yelling a kid's name (Bryson) 800 times is not the way to get them to hush crying.
  • Letting a kid "scream it out" in a restaurant is hardly appropriate.
  • No matter how many times you say, "Bryson, you are usually good in here.  You don't usually do this in this restaurant," it's not going to help.  GET UP out of your seat.  Leave the fried pickles on the table and go comfort your kid.
  • Please don't let your kid stab me in the back with a butter knife.
  • Please apologize when your kid stabs me in the back with a butter knife.
  • "I guess you better get used to this, huh, Mommy?"--Luke  (Again, it's a good thing he's cute.)
Could you have lived the rest of your life without knowing this?  Yeah, I didn't think so.

Finally, we have what I looked like last Sunday morning:
Here you have what I actually felt like:
Now, aren't you glad you spent time reading this?

I know.
I'm sorry. 
You will never get this time back.

Have a great weekend!

11 delightful comments:

jennifer said...

Ha! You look wonderful.

You are so right - repeating their name over and over does NOTHING.

My son and I went to lunch together this week. A little boy was upset and his mother took him out of the restaurant. YAY for her! However, when they came back he continued to mewl. That's right... mewling like a wounded animal. I really felt sorry for her - ultimately the little boy won that battle.

Have a wonderful weekend Lianne!

Anonymous said...

People watching at concerts is priceless. Next time go to Kenny Chessney or Tim or Faith and you may get a better breed of red neck LOL

Mrs. Jennifer said...

Come on! That wasn't so bad! SOunds like some great times had by all! And you think people watching AT the concert is good - my husband used to work for Hoover so they got all the amphitheatre drunks! I loved concert weekends! Great stories for days! Especially when wives would finally call the jail looking for their missing husbands...priceless.

texpat said...

Funny stuff there, Mrs. Robinson. Hmmm, I'm pretty sure the family from the restaurant was somewhere at that concert, too--you know the ones who brought their kids and kept saying, "Stop that! Stop drinking Daddy's beer. Yee Haw!"

Jill said...

Oh girl, I swore off concerts a long time ago for that very reason!

I think you look great!

Wade's World said...

Yes, I'm so glad I read this!!

And the comment about seeing the fries with mayo again owned me, but not as much as your recount of your restaurant ordeal!

You look great!

Marie said...

You look fabulous!
It is a good thing Luke is cute!

Rachel said...

The concert - sounds ...delightful. But you took awesome notes.

The peanut place - I would have lost my mind.

You - look adorable.

That's all.

Merry said...

Great post! I do miss the people watching in Alabama. Funny thing, though, the people watching in Alberta isn't much different. I officially live in the Alabama of Canada.

You look great though I totally remember the days when you feel like you might need help fitting through doors.

Christen said...

Wish you had a picture of the dancing mullet women!
How was Brad Paisley? I do really like his music, but I agree about Miranda Lambert, she is a very angry woman!

Rachel said...

I think you look fab! Love the dress!

Eating in restaurants makes me hate kids.