Snakes (not) Alive!

After my great day last week, I came home and checked my e-mail/facebook/twitter, as is my custom. (You do it too, right?) I was looking out the window while I tried to think of something cool to post on facebook/twitter as my status when I noticed a car doing doughnuts on the cul-de-sac in front of the house.

After the second time they drove through the cul-de-sac and slammed on their brakes in front of the driveway, I got a little alarmed. Clearly, they had beheld my after-Chuck E. Cheese beauty through the window and were mercilessly and helplessly in love with me and would be stalking me forever. Or something like that.

I really freaked out when the car came up the driveway and then drove out the other side of the circular drive. I army-crawled my way to the kitchen to tell the kids to hide with me. Without a doubt, we were in danger from some crazy person!

As I picked up the phone to call my not-yet-home-husband or the police or both, I saw the car coming up the drive again. As I watched breathlessly, the garage door opened.

Oh.

That was my husband driving around the neighborhood like a maniac.

Oh.

Jason came inside with a grim, yet psychotic, look on his face. He looked at me with a mixture of sorrow and terror on his face, which is usually reserved for the day when the Belk bill comes in. He said one word that made my blood chill.

"Snake."

He went on to tell me that he thought he'd run over it, but couldn't find it. Of course, he told me this as I'm making trips to my car to bring in my treasures from our Toys R Us shopping trip. He leaned over right as I walk by his tire to "check to make sure it didn't get hung up in the axle." I did some fancy footwork to get back in the house quickly! I might be brave about some things, but definitely not snakes!

Fast forward to Sunday afternoon. Jason was cleaning up the "natural area" (i.e. briars, wild shrubs, and weeds) in front of the house after I may or may not have threatened him to do so. I noticed a yucky smell, but it was a little hot while he was working (and HEY, he was working!), so I didn't mention it to Jason (that I totally thought it was him) that I thought something was dead out there.

He found it.

Snake vs. Car.

Car wins.

(Please disregard the poor, shaky quality of the picture. Something tells me that Jason was moving quickly AWAY from the subject when this picture was taken.)